I Make Good Life Choices!

When I was 8, I accidentally discovered my father’s porn collection. It was a series of unmarked VHS tapes stacked behind the regular VHS tapes. Some of them had homemade labels though, so I watched the one called Cinderfella expecting it to be a cartoon. It was a glorious story about a young man who wanted to attend the cross-dressing princess’ ball. She’d have this grand ball and she’d dress like a prince and find a lovely lady to sleep with. I can’t remember if her desired partners dressed like boys or girls but regardless, she’s very surprised when Cinderfella had a penis (so was I!) but they did weird stuff anyway and at one point the boy is bathed by people and I think there may have been a dildo involved but I was 8 or 9 and didn’t understand the ribbed stick thingy.

So I did the responsible thing and promptly showed this tape to my little sister. And we got caught and grounded.

Once I realized this was PORN and it was a “bad thing” I would use my dad’s unmarked vintage VHS porn tapes to record episodes of Home Improvement.

Sorry dad.

I don’t know why I suddenly remembered all of this, but yeah, I definitely destroyed my dad’s porn collection to watch Jonathan Taylor Thomas. I can’t remember what other porn he had. I don’t think I ever watched anything besides Cinderfella. But none of the other ones enticed me with promises of fairy tales either. Poor dad. He must have been so pissed when he snuck away for alone time and instead got Tool Time.

shout out to the people who never unfollow me for some reason even when i never post anything relevant to their interests

(Source: sockleton)